[ Kageyama has been dating Nazuna for a while now. They were both busy at times but Kageyama has gotten a bit better at not letting volleyball take up every second of his waking hours, just most of them. Tonight, he’d planned on taking things further, all the way even. That is… if Nazuna didn’t decide to hate him after learning the truth. He still remembers the horrible things said to him when he was younger and that had kept him from coming out to almost anyone in his life now. But he’s getting tired of only kissing, of acting like he’s just not ready for anything more. He’s not good at lying, he doesn’t lie so managing to get out of those situations had been hard.
Now, they’re in his room and Kageyama is in shorts and a t-shirt, sitting cross legged on the bed, staring at Nazuna as he finishes the snack they’d had. ]
I want to have sex but I have to tell you something first.
[ Kageyama says suddenly, his eyes lowering to his hands. He rubs at one of his fingernails, all carefully manicured. ]
I’m… I… I’m trans…
[ His voice is small because for all the ways he can be tsundere he is scared of losing Nazuna. He trusts him and he likes him more than he likes anyone but not quite as much as he loves volleyball. ]
[ Kageyama has a knack for unintentional comedic delivery. The way the younger boy is just capable of saying the most ridiculous things out of the blue with a such a deadpan face is so remarkable. But Nazuna doesn't always know what to expect from him, really, sometimes being thrown in for quite the loop. And, needless to say, this is one of those times Nazuna finds himself confusedly peering up at Kageyama with a quirked brow. ]
Eh?
[ Did the guy just say he wanted to have sex? Well. No. He's sure that's what he just heard. Nazuna can hear perfectly fine. There's no need for Kageyama to repeat himself. The surprise is what's getting to him the most, Nazuna doing a speed run of the instances of being alone with him. Nothing indicates Kageyama has ever truly been interested in a sex, which is a nonissue, so how is Nazuna supposed to take a declaration like that?
Wait. What?
Blinking out of his daze, he smooths his hands over the front of his own pink shorts and makes a confused sound. Maybe he wasn't paying attention as he's realizing the last bit of what Kageyama had to say has gone under the radar. Or not? Dammit. Did Nazuna space out? Kageyama is... ? ]
[ Kageyama inhales sharply by the time the other is questioning him.
It’d been hard enough to tell him once. Was he not believing him or was he
upset about it... is that why... He curls his hands into fists, and despite
the feeling of panic, the sense of a chasm opening up behind him he just
keeps his stoic face, only his hands giving his anxiety away. ]
I’m...
[ He’s so bad with words. And in his frustration he just pulls off
his shirt, making quick work of the binder he’s wearing beneath it and just
letting his body speak for itself. He looks down at his hands, squeezing
them tighter. He’s ready to be hit or yelled at or for Nazuna to just
leave. His inability to say it again left him making himself more
vulnerable physically. But... he does almost prefer it. ]
[ Those hands don't go unnoticed. Something is totally going over Nazuna's head here and it's only his own damn fault to blame. He wasn't trying to ignore whatever Kageyama was saying and only focus on the sex part. Perhaps if he reaches to —
Kageyama's taking off his shirt?!
It isn't like he hasn't seen boys shirtless in the locker room before, that's a typical occurrence. And yet what he's accustomed to seeing isn't what he gets at all. Well. He doesn't know what he's seeing. No. He does. Wait— should Nazuna be looking away? It's only been a few mere seconds but it definitely feels like he's staring. There is no dislike for what's in front of him. Kageyama is the reason for Kageyama being topless but that does not give the okay for Nazuna to stare. This is the younger boy speaking at high volumes to explain himself.
He finally reaches out to him, his hands gently settling over Kageyama's. ]
Is Tobio-chin living as himself? The way he likes... ?
[ The question is honest, curious, while his eyes flit up to the other's face. ]
[ Of all the things, Kageyama was expecting, it’s not the gentle
touch, it’s not the question that’s spoken so unexpectedly kindly. His body
sags a bit as relief floods him. He hadn’t really noticed the other staring
either, he’d been too busy looking at his hands. And he doesn’t think his
breasts are much to look at, a little less than a handful each.
Releasing a breath he nods. ]
I am.
[ Kageyama doesn’t know how to express that the simple fact the
other didn’t ask him about being a girl or... misgendered him at all...
it’s the first time anyone’s ever responded this way to his truth. ]
I want to have sex with you but I had to tell you this... I’m sorry I kept
it a secret so long, please forgive me.
[ He bows his head nearly low enough that his head could touch the
other’s forearms. ]
[ Kageyama isn't a girl. At least, there's no way of seeing him as one. Little things are beginning to add up and it's somewhat of a weight taken off his shoulders. Everything is so simple but complicated all at once. ]
I'll admit that I totally don't get this kind of thing at all. But it's not for me to understand. What matters most is that you're happy! Tobio-chin isn't any less Tobio-chin than he was when he invited me over to hang out.
[ He softly squeezes Kageyama's hands in reassurance before one of his own lets up in favor of gently nudging at the other boy's jaw. ]
Tobio-chin, please... Don't bow your head like that. I can't forgive you since you haven't done anything wrong. I mean, it sounds like I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry that you felt you had to keep it a secret.
[ Kageyama lifts his head, eyes widening and he shakes his head and
he pulls one of his hands to rub at his eyes which had gotten teary to his
chagrin. He doesn’t cry... A stupid ‘boys don’t cry’ matra going through
his head even though he knows better. It’s not a bad cry anyway he
shouldn’t be so embarrassed. ]
No. It wasn’t your fault. No one’s... treated me as well as you once they
found out. Even if I trusted you, it made me scared to say it...
[ He bites his lip and reaches for his shirt, tugging it on but
leaving the binder off. He doesn’t mind being free of it with how Nazuna’s
treating him even with it off. ]
You still like me? Want me?
[ Because he hadn’t been blind all those times that Nazuna had
gotten aroused during their makeout sessions. ]
[ There is no way of understanding what Kageyama is feeling. Sure, Nazuna regularly gets belittled for his appearance but it's totally different when there's security in who he is. Kageyama has so much to worry about that a person shouldn't have to. And that's unfair. This isn't the right moment to dwell on those horrible aspects, however, when the younger boy easily can wipe his eyes and casually move onto a different topic.
Nazuna doesn't try to comfort him further or point out the tears; he's seen plenty of boys cry. So it just seems appropriate to give him a little space by scooting back a little while Kageyama's working his shirt on. ]
Huh... ? Of course I still like Tobio-chin.
[ Right. Kageyama is revealing his secret for a purpose. Said purpose is enough to bring a light shade of pink to his cheeks. Now he rubs at his mouth with the back of his hand. It isn't as easy for him to say some things looking Kageyama dead right in the face. ]
He's someone who really excites me, you see~? So if he wants me then I absolutely want all of him.
[ Kageyama breathes out a sigh of relief. He needed to hear that, to
not leave it to assumptions and intuition. He needed to be able to replay
Nazuna saying those words over and over in his mind.
He shifts then, uncrossing his legs and moving to close the distance
on his knees in front of Nazuna as he reaches to cup his cheek, leaning to
press his forehead to his. ]
All of me wants all of you.
[ He says simply, honest and vulnerable. He tilts his head pressing
their lips together. ]
[ Such tenderness is a severe contrast to Kageyama's unfiltered point-blank pursuit of something a tad less than wholesome. The older boy can't help but be stunned by the revelations, unable to completely phase them out from the front of his mind. All of those things are the source of his current elation and taxing woe, heart threatening to burst out of Nazuna's chest. Kageyama didn't stutter but is "all of him" intended as an open invitation? Is it supposed to be his blessing?
Ah. The unexpected gesture releases a soft exhale of breath before his eyes flutter shut and he's pressing into the kiss. This is far from the first time they've kissed and yet there's a deafening mantra in his head as if it isn't. Kageyama is warm. Not smothering. Warm. Warm. Kageyama is warm. He is giving all that warmth to Nazuna. And Nazuna wants to accept it.
An ungainly hand ghosts along the one resting at his cheek only to blindly trail along Kageyama's arm. His lips part with the smallest hint of tongue in means of enticing the other boy to let Nazuna give him more. He begins to lean into him while maintaining some space between them, trying to allow Kageyama an easy out if he's to change his mind, fingers curling against the nape of his neck. ]
[ Kageyama relaxes the longer they kiss. It's reassuring as Nazuna starts to kiss him back, as his hand cups his cheek, touches his arm and Kageyama memorizes each touch. He has no intentions of changing his mind. He's settled on this, on what he wants... and Nazuna accepting him as he is only confirmed his desires even further. He doesn't have any doubt left.
So he easily parts his lips to the kiss, shifting closer, wanting to get rid of the space between them. His hand drops to the other's waist, gently pulling, encouraging him to come closer. ]
[ Yeah, it's definitely Kageyama's blessing. And what good would it do to blatantly ignore a signal like that? There isn't any reason to fight him when the guy more or less poured his heart out to him. Now it is simply a matter of Nazuna handling everything the right way. But maybe it was bound to get awkward because of the literal distance between them. Thank goodness for Kageyama doing his best bulldozer impression when it's important.
Canting his head, Nazuna is quick to take the opportunity given to him and licks into Kageyama's mouth without hesitation. He needs him to know that he longs to get a taste of all of him, that he isn't someone no sensible person in the world would be stupid to not want. Which means it's only natural for a fleeting hand map out his kouhai's chest over his shirt in a few short strokes as a primer for everything he truly wants.
The next inhale is sharp through his nose as his hand grips at Kageyama's shirt right below the collar. He finds himself stretching as the two of them are brought closer together —
... Ugh. Even when Kageyama's on his knees, he is too tall! The kiss is soon broken and he huffs out. This isn't a feasible direction to prevent that awkward factor. Right. Well, this is no big deal. He isn't interested in deflecting and call it a day on this. ]
Let's lie down. Okay~?
[ His voice is a touch hoarse as he tries coaxing the younger boy along with a small reassuring smile, face tinged with pink. ]
Things are only going to get better from here, if you do~
[ Kageyama is hyperaware of every touch, every movement Nazuna makes. The kissing ends and Kageyama wants to cling to Nazuna to make sure he doesn't move away but it's quickly clear he doesn't really have to worry about it. Instead, he nods at the suggestion, letting out a nervous breath as he moves to lay down. He likes to see the pink on the older boy's face. They're both figuring it out together maybe. ]
Kiss me again.
[ He says, eyes never leaving Nazuna, full of quiet affection and a simmering desire that he'd been holding back for a long time. ]
[ At least Kageyama's being agreeable. They aren't old but the Nazuna has to be considerate of his own neck. He rolls his head back before peering at what's waiting for him. What he sees isn't losing any appeal, having him thoughtlessly lick at his own lips.
Perhaps this would be a good place to interject with an unasked comment about manners. But it's most suitable to avoid any teasing that can be perceived as rejection. This situation is somewhat unorthodox and the younger boy's got plenty of feelings riding on this. All he can do is bring himself to smile at this moment. ]
I will, I will~
[ While making his promise, he's settling on his side next to Kageyama. ]
Tobio-chin doesn't have to worry.
[ A peck finds the corner of Kageyama's mouth accompanied with a hand gently resting at his waist. That's followed by another peck right on the lips and then a firm kiss. ]
[ Kageyama turns more toward him when the other settles down. He's still feeling raw and vulnerable, far more than he usually ever allows himself to be with anyone. Nazuna's moment by moment proving to him that he'd been right to trust him.
His start to close as Nazuna pecks the corner of his mouth, then more centered. He sighs happily, though, pressing back into the firm kiss. The weight of the other's hand on his waist more than welcome. He reaches to Nazuna's waist, scooting closer, close enough there's some points of contact along their bodies. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
For pyonpyon
Date: 2023-08-26 03:19 pm (UTC)Now, they’re in his room and Kageyama is in shorts and a t-shirt, sitting cross legged on the bed, staring at Nazuna as he finishes the snack they’d had. ]
I want to have sex but I have to tell you something first.
[ Kageyama says suddenly, his eyes lowering to his hands. He rubs at one of his fingernails, all carefully manicured. ]
I’m… I… I’m trans…
[ His voice is small because for all the ways he can be tsundere he is scared of losing Nazuna. He trusts him and he likes him more than he likes anyone but not quite as much as he loves volleyball. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 05:20 pm (UTC)Eh?
[ Did the guy just say he wanted to have sex? Well. No. He's sure that's what he just heard. Nazuna can hear perfectly fine. There's no need for Kageyama to repeat himself. The surprise is what's getting to him the most, Nazuna doing a speed run of the instances of being alone with him. Nothing indicates Kageyama has ever truly been interested in a sex, which is a nonissue, so how is Nazuna supposed to take a declaration like that?
Wait. What?
Blinking out of his daze, he smooths his hands over the front of his own pink shorts and makes a confused sound. Maybe he wasn't paying attention as he's realizing the last bit of what Kageyama had to say has gone under the radar. Or not? Dammit. Did Nazuna space out? Kageyama is... ? ]
What do you mean?
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 05:26 pm (UTC)[ Kageyama inhales sharply by the time the other is questioning him. It’d been hard enough to tell him once. Was he not believing him or was he upset about it... is that why... He curls his hands into fists, and despite the feeling of panic, the sense of a chasm opening up behind him he just keeps his stoic face, only his hands giving his anxiety away. ]
I’m...
[ He’s so bad with words. And in his frustration he just pulls off his shirt, making quick work of the binder he’s wearing beneath it and just letting his body speak for itself. He looks down at his hands, squeezing them tighter. He’s ready to be hit or yelled at or for Nazuna to just leave. His inability to say it again left him making himself more vulnerable physically. But... he does almost prefer it. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 05:52 pm (UTC)Kageyama's taking off his shirt?!
It isn't like he hasn't seen boys shirtless in the locker room before, that's a typical occurrence. And yet what he's accustomed to seeing isn't what he gets at all. Well. He doesn't know what he's seeing. No. He does. Wait— should Nazuna be looking away? It's only been a few mere seconds but it definitely feels like he's staring. There is no dislike for what's in front of him. Kageyama is the reason for Kageyama being topless but that does not give the okay for Nazuna to stare. This is the younger boy speaking at high volumes to explain himself.
He finally reaches out to him, his hands gently settling over Kageyama's. ]
Is Tobio-chin living as himself? The way he likes... ?
[ The question is honest, curious, while his eyes flit up to the other's face. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 06:03 pm (UTC)[ Of all the things, Kageyama was expecting, it’s not the gentle touch, it’s not the question that’s spoken so unexpectedly kindly. His body sags a bit as relief floods him. He hadn’t really noticed the other staring either, he’d been too busy looking at his hands. And he doesn’t think his breasts are much to look at, a little less than a handful each.
Releasing a breath he nods. ]
I am.
[ Kageyama doesn’t know how to express that the simple fact the other didn’t ask him about being a girl or... misgendered him at all... it’s the first time anyone’s ever responded this way to his truth. ]
I want to have sex with you but I had to tell you this... I’m sorry I kept it a secret so long, please forgive me.
[ He bows his head nearly low enough that his head could touch the other’s forearms. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 06:15 pm (UTC)I'll admit that I totally don't get this kind of thing at all. But it's not for me to understand. What matters most is that you're happy! Tobio-chin isn't any less Tobio-chin than he was when he invited me over to hang out.
[ He softly squeezes Kageyama's hands in reassurance before one of his own lets up in favor of gently nudging at the other boy's jaw. ]
Tobio-chin, please... Don't bow your head like that. I can't forgive you since you haven't done anything wrong. I mean, it sounds like I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry that you felt you had to keep it a secret.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 06:49 pm (UTC)[ Kageyama lifts his head, eyes widening and he shakes his head and he pulls one of his hands to rub at his eyes which had gotten teary to his chagrin. He doesn’t cry... A stupid ‘boys don’t cry’ matra going through his head even though he knows better. It’s not a bad cry anyway he shouldn’t be so embarrassed. ]
No. It wasn’t your fault. No one’s... treated me as well as you once they found out. Even if I trusted you, it made me scared to say it...
[ He bites his lip and reaches for his shirt, tugging it on but leaving the binder off. He doesn’t mind being free of it with how Nazuna’s treating him even with it off. ]
You still like me? Want me?
[ Because he hadn’t been blind all those times that Nazuna had gotten aroused during their makeout sessions. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 07:09 pm (UTC)Nazuna doesn't try to comfort him further or point out the tears; he's seen plenty of boys cry. So it just seems appropriate to give him a little space by scooting back a little while Kageyama's working his shirt on. ]
Huh... ? Of course I still like Tobio-chin.
[ Right. Kageyama is revealing his secret for a purpose. Said purpose is enough to bring a light shade of pink to his cheeks. Now he rubs at his mouth with the back of his hand. It isn't as easy for him to say some things looking Kageyama dead right in the face. ]
He's someone who really excites me, you see~? So if he wants me then I absolutely want all of him.
no subject
Date: 2023-08-26 07:26 pm (UTC)[ Kageyama breathes out a sigh of relief. He needed to hear that, to not leave it to assumptions and intuition. He needed to be able to replay Nazuna saying those words over and over in his mind.
He shifts then, uncrossing his legs and moving to close the distance on his knees in front of Nazuna as he reaches to cup his cheek, leaning to press his forehead to his. ]
All of me wants all of you.
[ He says simply, honest and vulnerable. He tilts his head pressing their lips together. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-02 05:37 pm (UTC)Ah. The unexpected gesture releases a soft exhale of breath before his eyes flutter shut and he's pressing into the kiss. This is far from the first time they've kissed and yet there's a deafening mantra in his head as if it isn't. Kageyama is warm. Not smothering. Warm. Warm. Kageyama is warm. He is giving all that warmth to Nazuna. And Nazuna wants to accept it.
An ungainly hand ghosts along the one resting at his cheek only to blindly trail along Kageyama's arm. His lips part with the smallest hint of tongue in means of enticing the other boy to let Nazuna give him more. He begins to lean into him while maintaining some space between them, trying to allow Kageyama an easy out if he's to change his mind, fingers curling against the nape of his neck. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-02 06:24 pm (UTC)So he easily parts his lips to the kiss, shifting closer, wanting to get rid of the space between them. His hand drops to the other's waist, gently pulling, encouraging him to come closer. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-02 07:33 pm (UTC)Canting his head, Nazuna is quick to take the opportunity given to him and licks into Kageyama's mouth without hesitation. He needs him to know that he longs to get a taste of all of him, that he isn't someone no sensible person in the world would be stupid to not want. Which means it's only natural for a fleeting hand map out his kouhai's chest over his shirt in a few short strokes as a primer for everything he truly wants.
The next inhale is sharp through his nose as his hand grips at Kageyama's shirt right below the collar. He finds himself stretching as the two of them are brought closer together —
... Ugh. Even when Kageyama's on his knees, he is too tall! The kiss is soon broken and he huffs out. This isn't a feasible direction to prevent that awkward factor. Right. Well, this is no big deal. He isn't interested in deflecting and call it a day on this. ]
Let's lie down. Okay~?
[ His voice is a touch hoarse as he tries coaxing the younger boy along with a small reassuring smile, face tinged with pink. ]
Things are only going to get better from here, if you do~
[ He lightly pats at one of Kageyama's hips. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-04 02:17 am (UTC)Kiss me again.
[ He says, eyes never leaving Nazuna, full of quiet affection and a simmering desire that he'd been holding back for a long time. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-04 05:53 pm (UTC)Perhaps this would be a good place to interject with an unasked comment about manners. But it's most suitable to avoid any teasing that can be perceived as rejection. This situation is somewhat unorthodox and the younger boy's got plenty of feelings riding on this. All he can do is bring himself to smile at this moment. ]
I will, I will~
[ While making his promise, he's settling on his side next to Kageyama. ]
Tobio-chin doesn't have to worry.
[ A peck finds the corner of Kageyama's mouth accompanied with a hand gently resting at his waist. That's followed by another peck right on the lips and then a firm kiss. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-08 06:13 am (UTC)His start to close as Nazuna pecks the corner of his mouth, then more centered. He sighs happily, though, pressing back into the firm kiss. The weight of the other's hand on his waist more than welcome. He reaches to Nazuna's waist, scooting closer, close enough there's some points of contact along their bodies. ]